Chapter 12: Gone
Life seemed calmer once my mom was gone.
My dad regained some semblance of his daily life, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that sending my mom away
had been the wrong decision.
I was deeply concerned about her mental state and did not believe she should be left entirely on her own.
But what could I do?
I didn’t know who to contact. I didn’t know what authority I had to intervene. I didn’t even know what
intervention was supposed to look like anymore.
I reached out to her family, including both of her sisters.
Maybe she could stay with one of them while we tried to figure out what came next.
I was told that having my mom there could be detrimental to my grandfather’s mental health.
At the time, I was angry.
I felt as though everyone was choosing to remain safely at a distance while I was left trying to figure out what
to do.
You may think it unfair for me to have viewed their decisions as selfish.
With time, I have come to understand their position better.
But that understanding came later.
At the time, I felt like I was drowning and not a single person was offering me a lifeline.
People offered words of comfort, but from where I stood, they remained outside the situation.
I was disappointed. I was angry. And beneath all of that, I was afraid for my mom.
She was now on her own again.
What was going to happen to her?
Would she end up homeless?
Would someone else recognize her vulnerability and take advantage of her?
I had no answers.
While my mom was gone, my dad began dating.
I strongly disagreed with his decision, although I didn’t feel I could tell him that.
It wasn’t the idea of him eventually being with someone else that bothered me.
I wanted him to take time to deal with what had happened and work through his own anger and emotions
before beginning another relationship.
From my perspective, nothing had been resolved. I worried that entering another relationship so quickly
would simply carry the same unresolved problems into something new.
It didn’t last long.
Soon, my mom was in trouble again.
Her arrangement with the friend she had been staying with in Nevada was falling apart, and she was being
pressured to leave.
From what I was told, her friend had begun questioning things my mom was saying and no longer wanted her
staying there.
My mom contacted me and said she had an apartment lined up, but that her move-in date had been delayed.
She didn’t have enough money for somewhere to stay in the meantime.
I felt terrible.
I had recently reduced my hours at work so I could spend more time with my children. After everything
happening around them, I felt that my presence and influence in their lives were more important than ever.
My wife and I had also begun making significant changes to the way we lived. We were cutting unnecessary
spending, trying to live more simply, and working to pay down our debt.
Money was tight.
I had some savings, but paying for two weeks in a hotel would have nearly wiped it out.
I had two children of my own to take care of.
I felt trapped between my responsibility to my own family and my fear of what might happen to my mom if I
did nothing.
Should I tell my dad?
After everything that had happened between them, was it fair to pull him back into this?
In the end, I told him.
Whatever else had happened, I couldn’t accept the possibility of my mom ending up on the streets when
there was still something I might be able to do.